Funny RSVP responses for weddings, parties and the dietary question
A funny RSVP still has to be countable. Put the answer in the first word, yes or no, and the joke after it, so the host can add you to the list without reading the message twice. Below are funny yes and no replies for weddings and parties, funny answers to the dietary question, and a few reply-card lines for hosts.
By Junaid Siddiqui, founder of Avently · Updated 28 October 2026
The rule: answer first, joke second
Whoever sent the invitation will read your reply at eleven at night with a guest list open. “Only if there’s cake” is funny, and it isn’t an answer. “Yes. Only if there’s cake” is funny, and it is a yes. Keep the joke to one line, and leave it out of anything the host will pass on to a kitchen, such as an allergy.
The plain version of each reply, and what to do when you are not sure yet, is in how to reply to an RSVP.
Funny ways to say yes
Yes. I’ve already chosen my outfit, and it’s been four minutes.
Yes, and I’m bringing my appetite. It may need its own chair.
Yes! Save me a seat near the food and away from the speakers.
Yes. I checked with my wife, my boss and my dog. All three said go.
Yes, we’re coming. Four of us, not the eleven Aunty is planning to bring.
Yes. I’ll be the one dancing badly by the DJ. Come and say hello.
Yes, we wouldn’t miss it. We’ve been practising our “aww” faces in the mirror.
Yes. Finally, a reason to wear the shoes.
Funny ways to say no
A joke softens a no, as long as the no is still in it.
No, sadly. I’ll be there in spirit. Please don’t set a place for my spirit.
Can’t make it. Give my slice of cake to someone who deserves it less.
No this time. Send photos, especially of the dessert table.
No, I’m away that weekend. Dance twice as badly on my behalf.
Sorry, can’t come. My toddler has a prior commitment to not sleeping that night.
No, and we’re genuinely sorry. We’ll raise a glass to you from 3,000 miles away, at roughly the right time.
Funny answers to the dietary question
The dietary question is where jokes cause the most trouble, because the host passes your answer to someone cooking for eighty. Answer it straight first. If you have no requirements, say “none”, then be funny.
None. I eat everything, including the mints by the door.
Nothing I can’t eat. Plenty I shouldn’t.
Vegetarian. Not in a “fish is fine” way.
Halal, please. Also seconds, please.
No pork, no shellfish, no limit on dessert.
None. I’m the easy one, for once.
A real allergy gets its own sentence with no joke in it, so it is read once and copied to the kitchen as written: “Severe nut allergy, including traces.” Save the joke for the line after. What the host does with these answers is in how to collect dietary requirements.
Funny reply-card lines for hosts
If you are the one sending the invitation, a funny reply line sets the tone and still gets you a count. Give the real options, and add one joke option that still comes down to a yes or a no.
☐ Yes, I’ll be there with a fork ☐ No, and I’ll regret it
☐ Wouldn’t miss it ☐ Will miss it, and will hear about it for years
Can you come? ☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Ask my mother (she’ll say yes)
Dietary needs: ☐ None ☐ Vegetarian ☐ Vegan ☐ Halal ☐ Allergies: ______ ☐ Please just feed me
Skip “maybe” as an option. You will have to chase every maybe before you confirm numbers. How to word the serious part of the ask is in how to politely ask guests to RSVP.
When to skip the joke
- A memorial, a funeral reception, or anything after a loss.
- A formal invitation from someone you don’t know well, such as a colleague’s wedding or a client’s event.
- When the host has already reminded you. They want the number, not material.
- A no to a close friend’s big event. A joke no can read as not caring. Say you’re sorry to miss it, and be funny the next time you see them.
- Anything the host will pass on to a venue, a caterer or a kitchen.
How this works in Avently
- Step 01
The answer is a button
An Avently invitation arrives on WhatsApp with Yes and No buttons. One tap is a counted reply, so tap first, and save the joke for the host in person.
- Step 02
A typed reply counts if it starts with the answer
“Yes, and I’m bringing my appetite” is counted as a yes, because it starts with yes. “Only if there’s cake” isn’t, and Avently asks the question again. A 👍 at the start counts too.
- Step 03
Your answers reach the host as you gave them
After a yes, the host’s questions arrive one at a time, and each answer lands in their guest list as you gave it. The dietary one is the answer to keep plain.
Common questions
What is a funny way to RSVP yes?
Start with yes, then one line: “Yes. I’ve already chosen my outfit, and it’s been four minutes.” or “Yes, and I’m bringing my appetite. It may need its own chair.” The yes in the first word is what makes it usable: the host can count it without reading twice.
How do you decline an invitation in a funny way?
Keep the no in the first few words and keep the joke kind: “No, sadly. I’ll be there in spirit. Please don’t set a place for my spirit.” Skip the joke for a close friend’s big event or anything after a loss, and just say you’re sorry to miss it.
What do you write for dietary requirements if you have none?
“None” is the whole answer, and it tells the host you saw the question. If you want to be funny, put it after: “None. I eat everything, including the mints by the door.”
Is it rude to joke on a wedding RSVP?
Not if the answer is clear. Couples enjoy the funny cards. What they don’t enjoy is a card they can’t count. Put the yes or no first, keep the joke to a line, and write any allergy as a plain sentence on its own.
What are some funny RSVP options for an invitation?
Give the real yes and no, then one joke option that still resolves to one of them: “Yes, I’ll be there with a fork / No, and I’ll regret it”, or “Can you come? Yes / No / Ask my mother (she’ll say yes)”. Avoid a “maybe” option. You will have to chase every maybe before you confirm numbers.
Avently gives every guest Yes and No buttons on WhatsApp, so the answer is counted before the joke, and asks your dietary question only after a yes.
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